tuesdays is still weigh-in day, but i’ve been really busy, so obviously i haven’t shared how far i’ve come since i posted the first weigh-in day on jan 29. i haven’t really come far at all in the weight department. in fact, after having lost a few more lbs, i gained them back over the last week. i’m struggling, as usual. i’ve been struggling at the same weight for so long now that i can’t remember how long it’s been. there have been so many false starts. i get caught up in living life and don’t track my food or plan things, and then i just find myself eating more than i really actually want of something that’s not really that tasty. sometimes eating is just a knee-jerk reaction for me.
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today (tuesdays) is weigh-in day. it’s been weigh-in day for a long, long time. more than 10 years now. in fact, i’ve got data on what i’ve weighed every tuesday since approximately 1999. one of the things that’s become more complicated for me on weigh-in day as the years have turned is that i discovered the fat positive community. it’s a community that i’ve learned from, felt accepted by, and felt rejected by all at the same time. it’s done wonderful things for me because i’ve met people who truly are completely okay with their size and their weight. in fact, it’s made me okay with my size and weight. and so it’s caused inner conflict for me on weigh-in day of magnanimous proportion. and it’s caused me to feel almost like i’m betraying myself.
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you know those things that you think, “oh yeah. that’s definitely the way it has to be done.” or “oh, i wish i had that.” or “what if we did THIS? doesn’t that sound like such a good idea?!” and then afterwards or a day or two or a few years later, they turned out to be terrible ideas? i’m making a list, and i want to hear what makes yours.
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for the first time in my life, i’ve been able to keep a big secret for more than a few months, but the other day i let the cat out of the bag on twitter when i tweeted “#ThingsIWillNotMissAboutNYC,” and i was officially caught. it’s true, the man rabbit and i are packing up shop here in brooklyn and moving back to NC in a few months. the house we’re buying is under contract, and if all goes well, we’ll be back in the south before the serious heat of summer hits. all this means that we’re moving … again. since i turned 20, i’ve moved 9 times, so that will make 10 before i turn 30. that makes me an expert on moving.
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i never, ever thought i would ever enjoy yoga enough to try to do it every waking day of my life. in fact, i’ve spent pretty much every yoga class i’ve ever been to feeling inadequate and like i just wanted to get outta there. i’ve listed my top 10 things about hating yoga in this post, and then i talk about how i found an app that has solved these problems for me. as a part of my #takecare resolution for 2013, i’m trying to do yoga every day for at least 15 minutes. the yoga studio app, which you can get here, is saving the day!
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who am i? petey pab motha … oops @nettaP. southern with a side of city: hush puppies and leather jackets.
i love to talk, first of all. which is why i write the content on this blog. i process the world through words and laughter. my second love is probably technology because it brings laughter and discussion and connection. and my third love is the pursuit of becoming a stronger individual while respecting my strong need for justice.
i'm learning to be myself faithfully and to trust myself with confidence.
i write a lot about being fat and feelings. i also write a lot about food and fitness. and i also write about fashion because it can be hard to clothe yourself appropriately at every hour of your life.
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